Forget About Your Heart. These Foods Are Worth The Risk.

Although you may be eating those filled cupcake oreos now, all good things will come to an end. So make sure you scarf some of these down before the curse of the dad bod inevitably gets you.

Although heart disease is the leading cause of death in the U.S., I suggest you take advantage of that healthy pumping machine while you’re young, wild, and free of the perilous stresses of life.

Fried chicken, ketchup, and coffee are listed on Yahoo Health’s, “30 Worst Foods For Your Heart.”

This is terrible news because these are key parts of any respectable man’s diet, and I say eat away until your doctor or a Cheerio commercial with a guy who looks like you tells you to do so.

Among the food items that were surprising to see on the list were vegetable juice, cottage cheese, and diet soda, because the entire premise behind most of these food products was that they were healthier for you. NOT!

The one piece of advice i would give you is to eat all of these quote unquote “unhealthy” foods in moderation in combination with some sort of fitness regimen, and i’m pretty confident your chances of survival will increase.

As for the wonderful healthcare professionals that want me to give up bacon, they can pass me the swine.

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